I have been trying to surround myself with positivity these days. After being on one medication for my panic attack disorder for over two months my doctor and I decided it was time to try another. It had not only not reduced the number or severity of the panic attacks but also gave me some uncomfortable side affects.
It's only been a couple days on this new medication and even though I didn't want to have to out my body through the process of trying a new one (since I experienced some bit so fun side effects the first few days with the other as well) I trusted God on this one. So far He has been merciful and last night I read a little, closed my eyes and actually went to sleep. This is one of the few times since July this has actually happened.
There are a couple things I think have attributed to this besides new medication. Not being on Facebook for one (keeping my focus off negativity in the media). Also last week when I had a random panic attack at night (which I later figured out had to come from an emotional thing that happened that day with a friend) I decided to email someone from the church and see if there was someone there I could talk to and get a recommendation for a Christian counselor to go talk to on occasion. I have learned that a lot of times the panic tracks are caused by an underlying emotional issue and unless you can identify it you're sort of screwed. That night I was able to figure it out but I think a little help in this area would be beneficial. Well I ended up emailing the head of women's ministry at our church (Launa) and she immediately wrote back and met with me just a couple days later. We had an amazing meeting and she was so helpful and ended our time together praying with me and telling me I can come back and talk any time. She also gave me the information for a professional she recommends.
I was beginning to see that my pockets were starting to fill up with even more people who can help me get through this season. I am a very transparent person and through this trial in my life I have wanted to be that way because it helps me to get things out and talk about them. The more people I have around me the better it is for me to get through this. I am thankful though because I already had a few key players in my life going into this who are there for me no matter what...and I think they know who they are ;)
So that was Thursday. Friday I went to the library (we had one of those "oh crap this book didn't make it back to the library with the others and now it's overdue" kind of moments) and while I was there I browsed my section and came home with a couple goodies
I've already finished Robin's book which was so uplifting and encouraging...and I started some time with Beth this afternoon and we will have a nightly reading session for awhile ;)
Whenever I have read anything by Beth Moore or the Bible studies I have done I always feel like she talks to me like she's sitting right there. I love that.
One more thing. Three weeks ago on a Sunday I was having a particularly hard time and almost asked Tim if we could leave. I stuck it out and Pastor Randy had the most amazing message on...are you ready for this...fear and anxiety. After I got home (as soon as he started speaking my panic turned to peace and my heart stopped racing) I emailed him to thank him. He doesn't know me but I briefly said what I had been going through so his message spoke right to me. Now I have never emailed him before so I sent it to what I thought was his email...but I had it wrong. So this last week I learned the correct one and last night I forwarded my email. What happened next shocked me a little. Within one hour I had an email back from him thanking me and wanting to meet with me after service and pray for me. So today we did that (we actually had run I to him and his wife Sandy in a coffee shop in Cannon Beach this summer and he remembered us and the girls) What makes this so amazing to me is the church has something like 4000 people every week. He ended the short meeting with asking me to check back in with him periodically to let him know how I am doing.
I feel like my sphere of those who influence me and speak into my life has just doubled this week and I couldn't be more encouraged to continue this
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